There’s a reason our parents send us to school (too bad we have to watch our own kids fuck up before we realize why)

THE DOCTOR SPOKE in a low voice to Amy’s mother. He hovered over her, taller by a good foot, and his face was grim. She spoke back, and he shook his head. …

Weed doesn’t make people stupid, people make themselves stupid by smoking too much weed

STANLEY KNEW HE NEVER THOUGHT THINGS THROUGH like he should have. He often thought that if only he would think things through, he wouldn’t end up boiling the same pot over and over and over again. …

Peer pressure is the best tool known for encouraging your friends’ inner morons

BUZZ ROADKILL, 16-time bull riding and 12-time bronc busting champion, let fly a wad of tobacco juice that sailed in a high arc across the gravel path and landed dead on into the rusty bucket outside the stables. A brown splash rose above the rim when it landed.

Tim struggled…

As hard as you think something might be, with inattention and lack of effort, you can make it even harder

THE ER DOCTOR PUSHED ED back onto the examining table and unwrapped the offending appendage. The nurse’s eyes ballooned like flying saucers, bursting through the clouds in a science fiction movie. Frowning, Ed’s doctor tapped with his reflex hammer, sending pain shooting through the rest of Ed’s body. …

Before you put your money where your mouth is, make sure you have the money

IF BOBBY HADN’T EXAGGERATED about his dog training trophies, Fred wouldn’t have dared him to show off his skills. Even Bobby would admit it was a reasonable dare. He’d earned a bit of a reputation as a blowhard, although he wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn it.

(Except possibly…

When your goal is within your grasp, don’t give up. Unless your mother calls you in for dinner.

Source image by Freepik

THE GIANT’S PITCHER went into his wind-up and Lance took one last step toward the plate. The pitcher, Osaka, was a lefty and preferred the curve, but Lance held steady and studied the spin. …

Just because a statement’s true, it doesn’t mean it tells the whole story

WHEN GARRETT FROM ANYPLACE™ REALTY booked a reservation for the All-Men’s Hunting weekend with famous hunter Big Bob Blastem, he asked if he could include bear hunting with the package. …