60s TV Heroes — “HIYO, SILVER,” the Lone Ranger shouted as he reared the horse on his hind legs. The 10-year-old white thoroughbred charged toward the settler’s camp next to the river, kicking dust with his heels. …

Thanksgiving week — THE HARVEST MOON ROSE, preparing turkeys across America for the annual purge — a slaughter on an unprecedented scale as human Americans sacrificed them as an offering to their gods. The god of consumerism, the god of tradition, and the god of nostalgia. And yet year after year of turkeys’…

Thanksgiving week — CHANDRA LIFTED HER FORK and surveyed the dishes her cousin Sadie had arranged on the table. The traditional Thanksgiving repast — oven-roasted turkey, yams with toasted marshmallows, stuffing and mashed potatoes with thick cream gravy, green bean and onion ring casserole, and cranberry relish. Two open bottles of Chardonnay, probably…

Thanksgiving week — EVERY THANKSGIVING THE SAME RITUAL. Thanksgiving dinner during the Detroit game, dinner and family arguments finished by end of the fourth quarter. The family retired with the nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandkids to the living room; Sam and Dean to Dean’s man cave to watch the Cowboys. This year Dallas…

Billionaire sells Tesla to cover losses — Twitter users finally received the notice they’d long-expected late Tuesday evening as the platform disappeared from the Internet following a total meltdown. New owner and dictator Elon Musk’s lame “sink” meme turned ironic as the popular social media site disappeared beneath the waves of digital noise. …

Thanksgiving week — Clarence’s wife Margaret laid her fork next to her Wedgwood dinner plate with hibiscus design. She closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. Slowly, calmly, deliberately. Once she’d quashed the urge to stab the fork into Clarence’s eye, she said, “Clarence. The election’s over. It’s Thanksgiving. …

Thanksgiving week — GRANDFATHER FRANKLIN POKED AT HIS STUFFING, which he’d drowned in egg gravy that everyone hated but him. “I suppose you voted for the lying Democrats.” And there it was, as everyone expected, the first shot across the bow. Who would fire it would change from holiday to holiday, but eventually…

Role models week — WHEN INCEL CELEBRITY B.G. DIKKE agreed to lead a workshop in Parker’s home town Dixville, the message boards flooded with posts expressing congratulations, excitement, and support on top of the usual Chad and Stacy alerts, Becky bitching, and complaints about parents who want them to get jobs. Best of all…