Texas Republicans reeled today when Drumpf ordered them to remove Texas Governor Gregg Abbott from office. “That bastard can’t do one simple job. Why shouldn’t I fire him?” the Once-and-Future Fake President reportedly declared during a phone call with GOP leaders that included Lt. …
FLASH ROGERS, STAR WRANGLER AND PILOT of a Wild West themed intergalactic cruse liner, walked into a star bar. Not just any star bar, the crown jewel of his cruise ship’s star bars, Eta Argus, a club illuminated by free floating dust and floor to ceiling windows to the stars…
TOM AND TIM SAT CLOSE to their monitor with hands under the table. They’d jacked their headphones into the audio ports so no one could hear the videos they played on screen. Tim reached toward the mouse to select a link. …
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THE SPACE CRAFT HOVERED above a small patch of ice in the arctic circle, slowed its spin and then settled into place. The ice surrounding them cracked, and the shelf floated into the freezing waters. …
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WHEN THEY PULLED TIM’S HEAD out of the water, he screamed, “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t know what they mean.” A hooded man with muscles the size of mountains shoved his head underneath once more. Next to the muscled hooded man…
Shortly after Oakland County prosecutors filed charges against 15-year-old Ethan Crumbley for his shooting spree at Oxford High School in Michigan, Senator Ted Cruz recruited recently acquitted mass murderer Kyle Rittenhouse to come to Crumbley’s aid. “The liberals called me a murderer,” Rittenhouse told reporters as he fought back tears…
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“BUT, KID, WE’D MAKE MILLIONS.” Alas, Reverend Robert’s words floundered like fine rain on a field of mud, that field being (metaphorically) Tim Perdant’s brain. …
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TIM BOUNCED FROM HIS COUCH to the living room wall and into his mother’s kitchen, where he opened a can of Sam’s Cola, having no champagne to celebrate. And he had plenty to celebrate. A podcaster had invited Tim for his first interview, proof that people were…
TIM PERDANT LABORED OVER HIS 30 VOLUME science fiction masterpiece God Speaks to Me for twelve years, from the day he moved in with his mother after dropping out college until the day she served him with his eviction notice. …
JARED STEPPED ONTO HIS FRONT PORCH with his morning coffee. The wifey was away for Black Friday and had dragged the in-laws and kids with her so he would have a few hours of peace to himself. At last. …
