Drumpf removes blessing from Abbott

Texas Republicans reeled today when Drumpf ordered them to remove Texas Governor Gregg Abbott from office. “That bastard can’t do one simple job. Why shouldn’t I fire him?” the Once-and-Future Fake President reportedly declared during a phone call with GOP leaders that included Lt. …

If you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, why not settle for a one night stand?

Star wranglers looking for love

astronaut dials up virtual girl

FLASH ROGERS, STAR WRANGLER AND PILOT of a Wild West themed intergalactic cruse liner, walked into a star bar. Not just any star bar, the crown jewel of his cruise ship’s star bars, Eta Argus, a club illuminated by free floating dust and floor to ceiling windows to the stars…

Your children won’t solve the mystery of how you were always onto them until they watch their own children try to fool them

Discovering Sexuality Week

Woman exposes missing breasts

TOM AND TIM SAT CLOSE to their monitor with hands under the table. They’d jacked their headphones into the audio ports so no one could hear the videos they played on screen. Tim reached toward the mouse to select a link. …

Reaching the truth is never easy; reaching the truth you want to hear? Even harder.

Writers Week

Aliens watch a man being waterboarded

continued from yesterday…

WHEN THEY PULLED TIM’S HEAD out of the water, he screamed, “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t know what they mean.” A hooded man with muscles the size of mountains shoved his head underneath once more. Next to the muscled hooded man…

Gun Violence

Shooter becomes latest Alt-Right cause celebre

Kyle Rittenhouse and Ethan Crumbly with Ted Cruz in Star Wars gear

Shortly after Oakland County prosecutors filed charges against 15-year-old Ethan Crumbley for his shooting spree at Oxford High School in Michigan, Senator Ted Cruz recruited recently acquitted mass murderer Kyle Rittenhouse to come to Crumbley’s aid. “The liberals called me a murderer,” Rittenhouse told reporters as he fought back tears…

If you can’t remember what God said in your vision, make something up. (It’s not as though anyone can prove you’re lying.)

Writers Week

Book with alien Jesus on the cover

continued from yesterday…

“BUT, KID, WE’D MAKE MILLIONS.” Alas, Reverend Robert’s words floundered like fine rain on a field of mud, that field being (metaphorically) Tim Perdant’s brain. …

If you have to shoot a gun, make sure not to aim it at your head

Writers Week

Podcaster at mike while aliens observe

continued from yesterday…

TIM BOUNCED FROM HIS COUCH to the living room wall and into his mother’s kitchen, where he opened a can of Sam’s Cola, having no champagne to celebrate. And he had plenty to celebrate. A podcaster had invited Tim for his first interview, proof that people were…

If you don’t know what you mean, how can you expect others to?

Writers Week

Writer pours a drink while aliens look over shoulder

TIM PERDANT LABORED OVER HIS 30 VOLUME science fiction masterpiece God Speaks to Me for twelve years, from the day he moved in with his mother after dropping out college until the day she served him with his eviction notice. …

Phillip T Stephens

Living metaphor. Follow me @stephens_pt.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store