Dear Scott,

Trust me (and my wife Carol agrees with me on this), women who say they’d “like to meet a decent guy, not another dirtbag like Mike,” want to meet another dirt bag like, Mike, but one who pretends to be a nice guy for one date and then treats them like shit. They may experiment with you just to see if a decent guy is a decent lay, but they’ll treat you like shit because you’re desperate and needy, then leave you for another Mike, or even run back to Mike.

You want to meet a girl who “just once would like to meet a really sexy guy, like Mike.” They’ll gladly settle for you because Mike won’t give them the time of day, or he’ll nail them once (probably to settle a bet), treat them like shit, and make them happy you bring them flowers because you’re so desperate for a “relationship” (just like they are) that mediocre sex is better than life as a single.

Settling? Sure. Before you call it settling, however, consider the fact that you’re writing letters to women you saw across the bar.

Just a thought. Hope it all works out.