Descartes dog once emailed me, “I keep trying to explain to him, ‘I bark therefore I am hungry. Always hungry. Then he wanders off asking, ‘But do you think,’ and I bark, ‘I bark therefore I think, you idiot. And I’m hungry.’ But he’s lost in thought writing in his stupid notebook by that time so I leave through the doggy door to beg for food on the streets.

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