I just read a a triple-blind study conducted by the University of Texas’ Cognitive Development department. They compared the President’s intelligence to twelve thousand species with a measurable intelligence and six hundred objects with no intelligence whatsover. On a scale of one to 12,600, the President rated -25,000. They concluded, “In the history of dumbness, no one has rated this dumb. We’re talking, like, the dumbest ever. Double big league dumb”

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