Ignore Him Till He Tires and Moves On

It’s time to treat Trump like the tantrum throwing 3-year old he is

Image for post
Image for post
The only way to defeat Trump is to erase him from our conversations.
  1. Satire and parody. Writing good satire requires more effort and sophistication. Usually. Trump’s staffing decisions make it easy. His comments at press conferences make it easier. His tweets make it easiest of all, since they only need to be retweeted as self-satire. In addition to well known comics like Bill Maher and Samantha Bee, Allan Ishac posts satirical Trump stories daily on Medium. The comic strip Rantdog and Mrs. Betty Bowers (America’s best Christian) skewer him mercilessly on Twitter and YouTube.

Trump believes that if the Fake Media criticizes him, he’s winning. In Trump’s mind the media wouldn’t protest if he wasn’t shaking things up with “totally right thinking.” Who is the Fake Media? Anyone who criticizes Trump.

Trumpshausted

Even if we didn’t reinforce and enable Trump’s delusions of grandeur with every comment and tweet, we’re speeding up that inevitable moment when we’ll be rendered immune to the craziness. That moment when the New York Times prints vid caps from the golden showers tape, the complete transcript of his conversations with Putin (including his orders to undermine the Constitution) and a photograph of his contract with Lucifer (signed in blood) only to prompt a bored response, “What’s new?”

The one thing Trump fears most is a dip in the ratings. If we deliberately tune Trump out, and make it clear our only response will be to tune him out, he’ll short circuit.

How can he scream “fake news,” when no one’s tweeting or posting about him? How can he say the left is against him when we don’t even mention him?

Mutually Assured Disrespect

Trump only respects rich white men like him. I propose that — from here on out — no matter how tempted we are to parse his misdeeds in detail (which isn’t hard), we refrain.

#Boring45

If you must be an individual, you can use any number of hashtags to express the same emotion. I prefer “#Boring45” because it places the blame on President…I mean, 45. You aren’t to blame for your lack of attention, 45 is to blame because he’s boring.

If we must comment, we comment only by typing the hashtag #Boring45. Let’s face it. If he were your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving dinner and not POTUS, you’d tune him out before the family said blessing. This strategy is the greatest strategy in the history of strategies.

Possible alternatives include:

  • #BoredBy45,
  • #CouldntCareLess45
  • #NotListening45
  • #pointless45
  • #yawning45.
Image for post
Image for post
You can include an illustration or emoji of an an orange-faced orangutan with blonde hair. (Elements provided by freepix)
Image for post
Image for post
I’m making the sacrifice with you. Nothing thrills me more than composing fake Tweets. But it gets exhausting.

Alternative options for self-expression

Opportunities for 45 joke replacements abound. We can still make fun of 45’s staff. For instance:

  • Steve Miller, the serial killer of an entire middle class.
  • Jeff Sessions, Pinocchio with ears that grow instead of his nose.
  • Spin doctors Corey Lewandowski and Jeffrey Lord who would defend 45 if the police caught him dumping bodies into a mass grave, with videos of his lemon yellow hair and orange skin glowing in the dark.
  • Vampire fairy queen Kellyanne Conway whose husband openly begs for divorce each time he tweets his feelings about her boss.
Image for post
Image for post
Ever notice that half od 45’s spin doctors look like Poindexter?

Resist temptation.

Ignore 45. Make him disappear. For everyone’s sake.

You can listen to this article on TapeWrite.

Notes

[1]: In my case, the criticisms do constitute fake media because I “retweet” fake Trump tweets.

Appendix

Since I’m leaping off the bash 45 by name train, I thought it might be fun to include some of my favorite tweets. Consider it a final farewell from the true face of the smartest man in the world.

Image for post
Image for post
Just a few of the Trump tweets I’m giving up because they backfired. Trump loves seeing his name.

Written by

Living metaphor. Follow me @stephens_pt.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store