In 45’s defense, having a wife you can deflate and pack in your suitcase to save the price of first class air fare is something every red-blooded American male (with a bank account bigger than tiny island nations) has dreamed of. Real women whine when you make them travel coach.

This, however, is offset by the fact that men have used tie pins and tacs for decades to hold their ties down in the wind. If they don’t want holes in their ties, they pin them to the back loop. You would think 45 would know by now that if a tie wants to break free because it can’t stand lying on your fat, sweatu chest then tape won’t hold it down.

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Living metaphor. Follow me @stephens_pt.

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