Processing the experience of speaking in tongues possibly creates more dissonance in former charismatic evangelicals trying to process their experiences in the church. This is especially true with those struggling to decide if they left the church behind or left their faith with it.

The Pentecostal/Charismatic movement capitalizes on the miraculous in ways that more conservative evangelicals shy away from. It isn't just speaking in tongues but a cafeteria of daily miracles that range from healing to demonic possession. Experiences all the more disturbing when paired with the elaborate theater of their services.

I witnessed the choreography first hand. Never content to simply accept the grace of God's intervention, they insisted it could only occur to music, dramatic invocations, violent "laying on of hands," and swooning ("being slain in the spirit").

I reflect on the years I spent with a charismatic church I helped found and, 50 years later, there are a handful of moments I still believe could credibly be claimed to have been miraculous. Sadly (and this is one of the reasons I moved on), the rare moments when members might claim to have witnessed and embraced the divine were swept away in the constant noise and theater.

Even worse, a member's faith was measured by their ability to experience those "living miracles"—speaking in tongues, healing (even something as minor as a toothache), being released from demonic influence, and the ongoing promise of financial prosperity.

The same goes for the experience of departure. Some of us still profess our faith—whether in the traditional gospel or a more ambiguous divine—and others reject the spiritual experience altogether. Reflecting on the experience of the miraculous makes the process of separation, grieving, and rethinking our beliefs even more difficult.