If life gives you shit, you might as well smoke it

Waste Disposal

Snoop Dawg Dope Detective

NINE IN THE MORNING AFTER AN ALL-NIGHT STAKEOUT. Snoop Dawg, dope detective, climbed onto his vintage 1949 Indian to deliver the goods to his client — photos of her husband cuddled up at a hotel with a bag of weed and GRAV coffee mug bubbler bong watching Cheech and Chong movies, munching on a slice from Bud Blaze Pizza and a bag of dill pickle curls.

Not that Dawg had anything against a guy binging Cheech and Chong movies while hitting his pipe and a slice from Bud Blaze. He’d spent many an evening in front of his 80-inch screen cleaning out his stash of Gorilla Glue and laughing hysterically at Up in Smoke. But a client’s a client, and the dude had signed a prenup promising to stay straight.

A stupid move on the dude’s part, at least in Dawg’s opinion. There’s no woman worth staying straight for — no matter whether she’s rich, delicious chocolate, or both. But a prenup’s a prenup, and his fee would keep the office open for another couple of months.

When he handed the photos to his client, he said, “It’s a shame. He seems like a nice guy. I hope you don’t go too hard on him.”

In Dawg’s opinion, there’s no woman worth staying straight…