Where Did All the Windows Jokes Go?
When Apple announced the latest MacBook Pro (touch bar Mac), all I could think was: You came out with a touch screen iPad, the first tablet I ever bought because it had decent apps as well as books, every PC maker in the world has released touch screen laptops and you give us the touch bar?
I knew I needed a new MacBook. I’ve been hanging onto my 17" MacBook since 2009 because Apple dumped them. But it’s too old, too slow and won’t run any system since they named OS 10 after animals.
(Why OS 10 anyway? They released OS 10 almost 20 years ago. Then they started with jungle cat names. Now that they’re naming the OS by geography, why not drop the 10 and call it “Sierra.” And add “Dropping features so this will run just like iOS, which you always wanted” to the ads?)
I looked at the new MacBook and the current MacBook and said, “Not worth the extra thousand dollars.” By the time I convinced my wife it was time to upgrade, who’d still be using an iBook if hers hadn’t died after a decade, there was one left in Austin.
I only bought a new iPhone because my iPhone 5 was slowing down. I bought a 6+ because I could bring the price down to about 30 a month less than they wanted me to pay for a 7.
I didn’t do this because I’m cheap. My dad was cheap. He insisted we eat one thin slice of meat and cheese and an extra bread slice on our sandwich if we were hungry. Two sandwiches? He’d die of a heart attack. He waited until the generic bread was put on the expired shelf to buy it.
I want the best, but Apple’s best is in its past. The only new Apple product I’ve bought was the iPad Pro, which I launched and realized didn’t retool the OS to accomodate the extra screen space. That wonderful retina screen is forced to display pixels bigger.
My dad was cheap. He insisted we eat one thin slice of meat and cheese and an extra bread slice on our sandwich if we were hungry. Two sandwiches? He’d die of a heart attack. I want the best, but Apple’s best is in its past.
I get wireless headphones. I use them. But $150 for bluetooth ear buds?
Recently Apple support convinced me to wipe my system on my brand new last generation MacBook because they suspected a virus. Don’t back up, they said. You’ll back up the virus. You can reinstall from your time capsule back-up before you think the virus got on your system.
Only I couldn’t connect to my time capsule. When I called them back, and followed their instructions the attempt to reconnect overwrote the file so I couldn’t access it any more. (This happened when they replaced the hard drive on my old Mac, but they promised “not this time.”)
When we realized it would take me days to manually restore apps using my 17" MacBook, a fresh system and assorted back ups, they said, “We’ll compensate you for the mistake. Any Apple accessory up to $300.”
I figured, okay, since they’re free, and blue tooth, and work with my 6+ (in theory), I’ll take the wireless ear buds. Their answer? “Anything but that.”
I’m sticking with Apple but I’m in buy only when these devices fail mode. I remember when I bought the newest and best every time. It will stay that way until they finally realize they won’t compete without touchscreen monitors for laptops. And even then, I’m going to wait until I see they actually work for the early adopters.
If there were an MST3K for computers, Apple is dangerously close to appearing on the season’s most popular episode. Sadly, no one at Apple seems to realize the jokes are no longer just about Windows.