Image for post — Drumpf Tweets claim he was single-handedly responsible for the Astros Series win. (They lost.) (Roy Luck, Michael Vadon)

Whose the Loser Now?

Drumpf taunts Nasty Nationals for Series loss

“Whose the loser now?” Drumpf Tweeted after the Houston Astros lost to the Nationals 6–2 in the final game of the World Series. “You losers shouted ‘lock me up,’ and NOW YOUR THE LOSERS.’ He followed with the message, “SHOWD YOU!”

He released two more self-congratulatory Tweets before it became clear he was celebrating the Astros victory over his arch-enemy, the Washington Nationals. “If he watched FOX Sports instead of Fox News he might have gotten the results right,” Tweeted Judiciary chairman Jerry Nadler. “As usual his sources are just as misinformed as him.”

“If he watched FOX Sports instead of Fox News he might have gotten the results right,” Tweeted Judiciary chairman Jerry Nadler. “As usual his sources are just as misinformed as him.”

The Haven learned that with his chances of avoiding impeachment collapsing, Drumpf is more upset about the insult he received during the fifth game of the series Sunday night. “He decided to show the Nationals who was boss,” admitted B.G. Kizzazz, assistant to Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney. “We told him to air an ad during game seven, which he did, but that wasn’t good enough. He ordered the Department of Justice and CIA to make sure ‘those liberal swamp dwelling DC mother fu…’ well, you get the idea. Make sure they lost.”

The ad, in which Drumpf took credit for singlehandedly wiping out ISIS while the Democrats tried to stop him with impeachment, aired early in the game when Houston was leading 2–0. “Just heired the GREATEST AD IN HISTORY OF ADS. Watch the Nasty Nationals go down in flames now!”

When asked if Mulvaney ordered Federal officials to sabotage the Nationals, Kizzazz replied, “Of course he did. It’s Mulvaney, and this time he showed everybody the memo from AG Barr that they would charge whistle blowers with treason. So they looked at a lot of options, sabotaging the baseballs — which wouldn’t work since both teams hit the same balls — to blowing up the Nationals bus and blaming immigrant terrorists.”

“Of course he ordered the CIA to make the Nationals lose. It’s Mulvaney, and this time he showed everybody the memo from AG Barr that they would charge whistle blowers with treason.”

Kizzazz lowered his voice. “We would have done it too until (Lt. Colonel Andrew) Vindman pointed out the ordinance would be easily traced back to the US government.” The only thing that stopped all plans from moving forward was one official’s (who Kizzazz refused to name) suggestion that Drumpf already believed his plan would be carried out so nothing could convince him the Nationals lost.

As predicted Drumpf claimed victory in the 2019 World Series. “Houston OWES ME BIG TIME for their win. Without me liberal NASTY NATIONALS would have gotten their ASSES WIPPED by immigrant ASSTROS.”

He followed with a final attempt to rub his message in everyone’s face: “Now that I SINGLEHANDLEY won the World Series, NASTY NANCY AND SHIFTY SHIFF better watch out. What I did to the Nationals I will do TRIPPLE to them!”